Will We Make It Thru December Part Three
by solista
Summary: It's Johnny's birthday. Family and home was his greatest wish.


_**Will We Make It Thru December**_

_**Part 3**_

Dios... he was cold. It got cold in the desert but this cold was from the snow-topped mountains surrounding him, and it sank into his bones.

He didn't like being cold... it reminded him from where he had come... a small scrawny kid with a tattered shirt, sandals on his feet, huddled under some hay pile in a dirty barn in a dirtier border town.

That was all in the past just let it lay... Scott said once, 'the past was always there, it made us who we are today and prepared us for tomorrow'.

Johnny Lancer shook his head and smiled, that Boston always comin' up with some ol' that phil-os-opy.

This wise tid-bit from his brother he agreed with, 'cause he wasn't that scrawny, dirty kid any more... he had grown up and made a reputation of the fastest gunfighter on the Mexican border at a young age. Moreover, he sure as hell was not going to be either one again... well except maybe for the cold part.

He had been perched on this ridge sitting his horse waiting for his older brother, Scott, for nearly an hour... Dios he was cold.

He looked up at the sound of thudding hooves, 'bout time.

His smile could warm the coldest day, Scott thought as he rode towards his little brother. The smile from his brother could change in a minute... happy, proud, and content... or the other smile... the Madrid smile.

The smile that was cold and did not light up the startling blue eyes of the gunfighter... the smile that said some one was going to die.

Thank the Lord he had not seen that smile in a good long while. In addition, he had hoped never to see that particular smile ever again.

Whatever smile his brother bestowed on him was all right... it meant Johnny was home and they were brothers.

Johnny watched as his big brother rode up to him, Dios, a brother a true brother and friend, a man the ex-gunfighter trusted, "Bout time brother, just 'bout froze my caj... well you know it's cold."

Scott smiled back and threw a coat over to his brother, "Well then let us get you warmed up... you forgot this again. Remember you are not in Mexico anymore little brother."

"Si, mi hermano... gracias," Johnny twisted in his saddle as he drew on the heavier coat.

Scott looked out over the range as his brother fastened the coat.

"So, mi hermano, it will soon be tomorrow and you have a birthday...how do you feel," Scott waited patiently as his brother took a minute to form his reply.

One thing Scott had learned about his brother... is that you never rushed him... for anything.

Johnny did not know how to tell his brother that birthdays did not exist for him... not like T'resa, Scott, or even Jelly.

No it was just another day, for years he just remembered the day of his birth was sometime in December.

Come to think on it... December was just another month. There was no tree all alight with glittering do dads and candles, no room filled with the smells of cookies and pies.

For sure, there were no wrapped presents under the tree... no presents anywhere.

"Well Boston, I guess if ya gotta feel good 'bout gettin' older...I'm pleased as a cat with a saucer of milk. In my previous line o' work... ya never looked much past bein' tha one left standin'."

Johnny bowed his head when Scott looked away, but not before he had seen the hurt on his brother's face.

Why was he always sayin' something that put that look there... but didn't his brother and his family want to know the truth, how he really felt. Next time he would just give 'em a yes or no answer.

Scott looked back, his feelings hidden, "I am sorry Johnny I didn't mean to..."

Johnny shook his head and shifted in his saddle, "Listen Scott... my life before I came here was nothing short of bein' a scramble to just stay alive. You said onetime that the past is what makes us... well some of my past would just have to stay there. It's not who I am now or what I want ta be tomorrow."

The heavy sigh told Scott his brother had given him a gift... a glimpse of what made Johnny Lancer his brother. Johnny was not one to use many words... Scott felt privileged that his brother opened up... even just a little.

Scott lightened the mood by gently slapping his brother on the arm, "Well at least Murdoch reined in Ms. Teresa as to your birthday dinner," he saw the younger man close his eyes and put both hands on the pommel of his saddle and sigh.

"Oh don't worry brother; it will just be family, Doc Jenkins, Val and Jelly, so don't panic on me." He put a solid hand on his brothers fore arm, and held on until Johnny looked up and smiled.

He could see the younger mans eyes as they danced with devilment, "So big brother... I still get presents?"

Scott laughed, "Yes little brother and I have it on good authority that your entire favorite, gut burning food will be served... as well as a good sized cake."

Johnny let out a loud Texas yell and kicked his horse into a gallop. Scott laughed and tore in behind his little brother; they raced across the range... the cold and the pain left sitting alone behind the brothers on top of the rise.

_**LANCER**_

_**December 23**_

The sun was barely up and the youngest Lancer son was sitting in the great room, in his father's '_seat of power'._

He was looking out of the window behind the desk... he remembered the first time he saw this window, Dios it took in nearly the entire wall.

Smiling he watched as the darkness gave way to the light, the cup of coffee almost gone he sighed and stood, stopping for just another minute to watch the new day unfold.

"Just getting up or not gone to bed yet," the question made him smile the voice soft and raspy with some one just waking up.

Turning he saw the bleary eyes of his father, the hesitant smile the expectant face, "Well a little o' both I 'supose."

Murdoch smiled wider, "Well I need some coffee... you make it?"

Johnny moved from around the desk, and walked towards his father, "Yeah... kinda strong. I got used to it when I was driftin' 'round. Never seen a reason ta change, I'm usually tha only one ta drink it."

Murdoch turned to the kitchen with his son following, "Your mother made it strong... you could almost stand a spoon up in it... I got used to it."

He stopped when he did not hear his son's boot steps, turning he watched his boy stand stiffly, dark head bowed, "Lo siento Popi... lo siento."

The concerned father approached his son, as a wrangler would approach a skittish colt. Placing a gentle, large hand on the strong shoulders, he gave it a small grasp, "Son there is nothing for you to be sorry for. Your mother and I had love, until it was no longer there. I don't regret a day we spent together when that love was alive."

He waited until Johnny raised his head, he stared into he deep blue of his son's eyes, "She gave you to me..."

"Yeah then she took me away," the young man spat with bitterness in his voice.

"Yes son she did, but I have you back... I have you and your brother back. Johnny I have everything I ever wanted."

Johnny studied his father's face, the sincerity there, the hope there and the love.

Breaking the mood Johnny grinned, "Well then if Scott an I are the only things ya wanted... that mean we don't gotta kill ourselves lookin' fer tha right Christmas present?"

Murdoch's hand moved up to cup his younger sons neck, "You both do not get off so easily, I expect... well I expect what ever you give will make me the happiest man on earth."

"Gracias Popi, you have given me the best birthday present ever," he looked up into the blue of his father's eyes, "You gave me a home and a brother and acceptance."

"Thank you," Johnny pulled away from his father and continued into the kitchen. Murdoch had to wait a moment before following his son to compose his beating heart; his eyes darted to the sound of a scuff on the stairs.

Scott showed himself, "I didn't mean to listen in... God Murdoch what if that Pinkerton had been just a second too late."

The stalwart rancher wiped a hand down his face, "I don't even want to think about that. I have him home now... and come hell or high water... I mean to keep him here."

Scott smiled, "Well sir, I second that sentiment. Now if we don't want to disappoint the 'birthday boy' I suggest we go have some of my little brother's 'trail coffee."

Murdoch smiled at his elder son, "Much as your brother's brew would likely make hair grow on your chest... it will defiantly wake you up."

Father and son entered the kitchen to see Maria, the Lancer housekeeper, slap at the younger Lancer after the boy had stolen a strip of bacon.

Popping the fried piece of pork into his waiting mouth, he turned and put a big kiss on Maria's cheek. The housekeeper blushed then swatted the tight rear end as the boy turned to the sound of his family entering the kitchen.

Grabbing the stinging area on his butt, "Hey... it's my day today..."

Scott laughed, "So it is... back in Boston the birthday boy usually got a smack on his derriere for each day of his life. 

Johnny smiled, "Well then brother I just got my one..."

Scott was perplexed, "What do you mean little brother?"

Looking from his father to his brother, then including Teresa as she entered the kitchen the handsome face lit up to equal the fully risen sun, "I mean that my life before was just that, a life. But I'm home now and I have a father, a sister and a brother. Guess you could say Johnny Lancer was re-born today."

Teresa ran to him and gave him a big hug, nearly crushing the air out of his lungs.

His father stood silent, wiping a finger under his eye, Scott had a look of astonishment on his face and Maria buried her face in her apron.

Dios, he had done it agin. Maria and Teresa in tears, Murdoch disappointed and Scott was too quiet. When would he learn not to open his big mouth?

He gently pushed T'resa away, "Lo siento... I seem ta just put my foot in my mouth every time I open it."

Scott looked perplexed at his younger brother, "Johnny what are you talking about." Glancing at their father, Teresa then Maria it hit him.

The boy thought so little of himself... or was it them?

"Johnny, these are tears of joy... we have all wondered if you thought of Lancer as home and us as family," Scott saw Murdoch nod his head.

Scott grinned, "Besides we all want to know what you think and feel. _**We**_ all want you to know how much we care for you..."

"And love you," Teresa added as she hugged her brother once more.

"And are all so very glad you are _**home**_ with us," Murdoch moved beside his younger son.

Johnny had an arm around his sister, his big brother came and placed a hand on his shoulder, and then his father came to embrace them all.

Murdoch stretched out his long arms and gathered his _**family**_ into his embrace.

He would never let them go again with out a damn good fight.

Maria clapped her hands, "Ai yi yi my grande desayuno will grow frio."

Murdoch released his hold as they parted and took their seats, Johnny left standing and watching... as if his eyes had to capture each smile, each gesture and glue it to his memories.

Three faces turned to him, three smiles called to him three pair of eyes drank him in and Johnny smiled back.

Before taking his own seat he stood in front of his family, "I want ta say muchas gracias... thank you for letting me stay and be a part of something I had only prayed for as a child, dreamed of when I was older and nearly turned it all down."

He smiled... the big bright as the new day smile, filled with all the love his renewing soul could give, "I... it's hard to say... but getting better," he looked at his family and grinned, blue eyes dancing, "I love you all."

Maria's apron went once more to her face, Teresa grabbed a napkin, Murdoch wiped a finger under his tearing eyes and Scott smiled back, "Then 'little' brother let's get this birthday started."

Amid the laughter, ooo's and ahhh's the younger Lancer son admired and accepted the gifts from his family.

There was a new shirt from T'resa; a pair of expensive, fine leather gloves... lined no less from Scott. Another new jacket, also expensive leather from Murdoch.

Jelly joined in the breakfast celebration and placed his gift on the table. It was a new set of currycombs and brushes to be used to keep his palomino 'bright and shiny.'

Cipriano called them all outside, the ranch hands stood around the corral, laughing and greeting Johnny in both Spanish and English.

Johnny had no words as Walt and Frank led a beautiful golden mare from the barn and turned her loose into the enclosure.

Cipriano stood beside the young man, "We found her running with a herd, muy bonito. She is our gift to you Johnny... to show you we welcome you home and to perhaps start the Lancer ranch back into the best palomino horses in the San Joaquin."

Johnny looked from the horse to his father, "Murdoch?"

"I think it's time son... and who better to get Lancer back on the road than my 'baby boy,' Murdoch smiled and the compound became silent.

Every one waited to see the young man's reaction, Johnny had fallen silent, and he looked around at the gathered crowd and closed his eyes he needed to say the right thing.

"Ah ya'll know I ain't too good at speechifyin' it's just this... I consider all you my _family, _an ya'll know I ain't in _that_ business no more... but I will stand beside each o' you an I will always protect family... Lancer takes care of their own."

The mare jumped back and raced around the enclosure as to a man, the assembled men raised their hats and yelled "_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY"**_

Happy Birthday James Stacy and

Johnny Lancer

December 23


End file.
